16 April 2007

Frauke

And now for something entirely German, not entirely German, and completely unique. Who/what is Frauke? How is Frauke? Why is Frauke? When is Frauke, and where?

Our first explanation comes from their very own bio: "Frauke is formed by Frauke, Frauke, and Frauke. Frauke met Frauke in Germany, and Frauke introduced Frauke to Frauke in Germany. Frauke is a she. Frauke wants you to dance, stop dancing. Frauke wants to play love songs for you but they are songs of hate. Look at Frauke, look away from Frauke. Frauke loves the suit that is covered in blood and and is left alone in the snow so that a child may come across it and weep. Frauke sees pain in child's eyes. Does frauke feel emotion? Frauke does not feel. The owl laments, stops lamenting, for it fears Frauke."

The above may offer answers to a few of the questions we have about Frauke, or it may simply serve to further Frauke the Frauke. For clarification I decided to seek out Frauke for an IM interview, and for some songs with which to entice all of us to go see Frauke tonight.

Frauke:
knock knock

EAR FARM:
who is there?

Frauke:
do you know why the man grew his beard long?

EF:
hello, who is knocking?

Frauke:
it is me frauke, i have come with a joke about a man with a long beard and all you have to do is reply "no, i don't know - why did he grow it long?"

EF:
no, alright. no. i dont know. and i'm embarrassed to say so.

Frauke:
so he will remember what he had for lunch the previous day!

EF:
omg. lol. brb.

The interview continued, as did the laughter, yet no conclusion was reached as to who/what/why/how the heck Frauke became Frauke. Some things are better left shrouded in Fraukery anyway. I suppose. The one question I do know the answer to is when. More on that below. First, THIS JUST IN.

Hello,

This is Frauke. Frauke sent me a transcript of your interview with Frauke. It seems that Frauke has either decided to spread false information, or perhaps she is from Finland. The truth is, I have a very bad case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to my experiences in the wartime. It is not that I have no morals, it is that I am frightened of the shrieking animals, the sounds of bombs, and - of course - the Finnish and their love of burglary and scheming.

Thank you.
-Frauke
I am not meaning to confuse you the reader, just meaning to report everything as accurately and completely as I possibly can. The truth is that I chose not to print Frauke's detailings of Frauke's debauchery. Nay, instead Frauke outed herself by attempting to explain away her own loose morals even though nobody here was to speaking about them. Ultimately, all of this is of no matter. I mean to tell you of an event. Of three Fraukes singing and playing their collective Frauke off TONIGHT. Be there, or else be prepared to apologize to yourself later.

To further grasp understandings beyond the why of all things Frauke, listen to the songs posted here. They are 100% music. They are sounding of a garage band, very much Frauke for Frauke's sake, and better than the music that you've heard elsewhere that made you think "yuck". Get ready to have their musical musings pleasantly scratch that golfer/lemonade/iced tea itch in your ear, for Frauke is the kind of band which makes Arnold Palmers when life throws them kittens. You know what I mean?

This is not make believe, this is Frauke.

Listen:
"Emoticonspiracy"
"Hunt The Yeti"

Visit Frauke on MySpace.

See Frauke TONIGHT at Fat Baby at 9pm.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

hm

Anonymous said...

This is too fraukin' funny!

Frauke said...

Frauke, I am offended you are telling peoples I am from the Finland. This is not true. I am from the black mountains of Germany. You know it, I know it, Frauke knows it.

So, ok, maybe i was spreading false information about you, but that is what happens when you call me Finnish. You are always provokings me Frauke. I do not make the animals shriek at night to upset you? do I? (Except that one time - but it doesnt count.) Why can you not refrain from calling me Finnish?

Anonymous said...

what the frauke are you talking about?

Anonymous said...

They've got a beef with the Finnish!

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