8+

"The Hipster" by Martin Eagle Trio which clocks in at 9:06

The other day I was shopping at Urban Outfitters, buying some flip-flops if you must know, and found myself in a bind at the register. It was one of those extremely momentary situations where I went to swipe my ATM card and had positioned the card upside down. Oops. The clerk attempted to make light of what happened with a "joke". She proudly declared, "You know, I have a joke for times like these - hipsters and technology don't mix!"

Hi. Hello. Okay, I'm only going to ask once. Can we please agree to stop using the term "hipster" to apply to every person in the world under the age of 35? Please?? No seriously. Even if it's a person who acts like everything they own is the coolest thing on Earth, but only until they see that ten other people own the same thing at which point they throw away their used-to-be hip belongings in favor of some new "underground" hotness. This isn't a hipster. Don't dismiss this person with a lazy euphemism, call them what they are. Hip? Hell no. A person like that is just a fucking fool. Besides, these types don't do justice to the original hipsters, aka "hepcats", aka "characters who like hot jazz."

Don't you see how over-using terms such as this strip them of any potential meaning they once might have had and turn them into nothing more than branded monikers? Do we all really want to be associated with the generation that continued the tradition of labeling anyone and everyone according to their preferred style of consumerism (or lack thereof)? Hipster, beatnik, hippie, stoner, preppie, yuppie, slacker, soccer mom, etc etc, and now hipster...again. But come on - how lazy are these slang classifications? Isn't each one of us a brain...and an athlete...and a basket case...a princess...and a criminal?

Let's be honest, even though you'd expect true hipsters to be so "up" on the times that they'd realize that the very term hipster is no longer "hip", much more than half the time this label is applied it's hipsters calling each other hipster. But don't laugh this off so quickly as a victimless crime. What they're doing by doing this is buying into the paradigm of a much larger group. The puppetmasters who dictate which slang is fit to stereotype which certain slightly definable collection of similar people.

Well. Here's what I've decided. All of you people out there who can't resist using corporate marketing slang to sum up your fleeting thoughts in a one-word easy-to-digest statement have a new name: slangster. You're all slangsters.

Die slangster scum!

*photo from HERE

Buy The Hipster HERE on CD Baby.

EAR FARM's 8+ is a weekly feature that showcases songs longer than 8 minutes. In the recent past these songs were featured on EF's 8+:
Battles - "Rainbow"
Nirvana - "Scentless Apprentice"
Jesu - "Weightless and Horizontal"
Nuh Uh - "This Is Embarrassing"
The Cure - "Carnage Visors: The Soundtrack"
Aphex Twin - "Ziggomatic V17"
Agalloch - "In The Shadow Of Our Pale Companion"
Explosions In The Sky - "It's Natural To Be Afraid"

To see a full list of every song featured in EAR FARM's 8+ click HERE.