15 January 2008

Cheer Up Hannah Montana: Top 5 Moments of Musical Fakery

Congratulations, shunned parents of America: you finally have a compelling argument when trying to convince your children they're better off not seeing Hannah Montana LIVE in concert. When reports surfaced a few days ago that she had used a body double during her live show, it was almost as though a collective sigh could be heard emanating from behind the tall lattes of soccer moms and pops across America. No longer are you a failure in your impressionable offsprings' eyes! You now have damage control, you can spin this! You didn't fail your kids by refusing to pawn your Patek Philippe for floor seats, you were protecting them from a lurid exhibition of artifice and child exploitation. Not on your watch!

But wait. I'll give you a moment to recover from how grossly inappropriate the phrase "body double" comes across in reference to a 15-year old before riddling you this: what's the big deal? In the video (around the 2:15 mark), a look-alike comes out a second or so after the real Hannah Miley Achey Breakey Montana Cyrus gets ushered offstage and proceeds to run around with a mic for about a minute before disappearing again. Her PR firm claims that this move allows the real McCyrus time to change for her next number, all the while keeping the show flowing for the tweens in the crowd. Why is this such an issue? As far as notorious moments of musical fakery go, this will prove to be nothing more than a footnote when the dust finally settles. Want proof? Keep reading to turn your noses at the top 5 REAL fake moments in music....

5. 50 Cent at the BET Awards, 2007 - 50 clumsily lip synchs the opening bars of his new single before the vocals cut out altogether (his DJ played the instrumental version by mistake), causing him to skip around the audience in a panic waiting for the track to re-cue.

Most embarrassing moment: at the beginning when he doesn't even remotely appear to be singing, 50 Cent instead opts to take off his jacket and show his investments rather than holding the mic to his mouth for the minimum amount of time necessary to look like he was talking into it.



4. Enrique Iglesias Can't Sing, 2000 - Hearing unprocessed pop vocals is the same as seeing a celebrity mug shot (feelings of unease and superiority abound), and this one's just as entertaining as that Smashmouth clip from last year. At a concert in Poland, a stage technician secretly records Iglesias's microphone as the "singer" warbles along to a pre-recorded vocal track. The audience gets to hear the pristine studio vocal track, we get to hear the warbling.

Most embarrassing moment: Iglesias's defense of his actions, stating, "Unfortunately, there are many shows around the world that are not technologically advanced enough to handle a live performance, and in promotion of my music, sometimes I have to compromise in an effort to reach all the fans."

Listen: "Off-Key Rhythm Divine"
3. Britney Spears Returns to the Stage at the VMAs, 2007 - Despite what this list may suggest, we here at EAR FARM actually don't enjoy witnessing awkward moments unfold before our eyes. And this one is just plain sad. As a beleaguered and out-of-shape Spears sleepwalks and lip-syncs her way through a rendition of her new single "Gimme More", many of her co-performers literally carry Britney around the stage as if she'd spent hours tied up to the water-powered torture machine from The Princess Bride.

Most embarrassing moment: the few crowd reaction shots that are shown, each one an audience member unable to hide their disgust.



2. Ashlee Simpson Does a Jig on SNL, 2004 - Forget for a moment what we just said about not taking pleasure from someone else's misfortune, because sometimes awkward moments reach a level of transcendence! Here, Ashlee Simpson panics when the pre-recorded vocals for the wrong song start up without her and she then awkwardly jigs as her band gamely tries to play along.

Most embarrassing moment: when Simpson returns at the end of the show to blame her band for playing the wrong song.



1. Milli Vanilli Are Corporate Pawns, 1989 - The phrase "girl you know it's girl you know it's girl you know it's" keeps skipping from the PA during a live MTV performance, revealing the ugly truth that the duo do not really sing either live or on their mega-successful studio album. Their Grammy for Best New Artist is revoked, the disgusting underbelly of the record industry exposes itself ever so briefly, and Rob Pilatus later overdoses and dies. Pay attention Hannah or Miley or whatever your preferred moniker is, showbiz can be a bitch.

Most embarrassing moment: when you, all of your friends, and the rest of the world gave up on this #1 hit-having band in favor of something more "real"; such as, Paula Abdul, Richard Marx, and/or Martika.

11 comments:

Billy Rae said...

How is what Hannah's doing in any way comparable to what these other jackasses have done? It's not, right? That's what I thought. Thanks. Leave my daughter alooooone!

Billy Rae said...

Also, I feel so badly for that poor Spears girl. God rest her soul.

kiloi said...

chaussures puma stores offer you the most popular fashion shoes, including the puma basketpuma puma BanXie and shoes. All the puma product factory direct sale, special processing, create the most inexpensive puma stores.National Weather Service Meteorologist Jason puma CAT said this week's temperatures will mirror seasonable averages of highs around 71 and lows about 42 degrees ...

kiloi said...

nike tnEnter the necessary language
translation, up to 200 bytes winter, moves frequently in Chinanike chaussures showing that the deep strategy of the Chinese market. Harvard Business School, tn chaussures according to the relevant survey data show that in recent years the Chinese market three brands, Adidas, Li Ning market share at 21 percent, respectively,

kiloi said...

Puma shoes , Ugg Boots , nike max shoes, NIKE AIR MAX TN ,nike max shoes ,PUMA CHAUSSURES, NIKE SHOX Torch ,puma Ferrari F1 ,PUMA DRIFT CATmens clothing men's sweate, cheap columbia jackets, lacoste sweater, ralph lauren polo shirts,ski clothing. Free Shipping, PayPal Payment. Enjoy your shopping experience on mensclothingstore.Us

kiloi said...

ralph Lauren polo shirts , Lacoste Polo Shirts, Burberry Polo Shirts.wholesale Lacoste polo shirts and ralph Lauren polo shirts with great price. clothingol.com offers lot of 10 lacoste polo shirts and lot of 20 cheap polo shirts. clothingol.com offers classic fit polo shirts. polo clothing All our shirts made in original factory.

kiloi said...

puma mens shoes
nike air max ltd
NIKE air shoes
ed hardy clothing ed hardy clothes ed hardy shirtsed hardy clothing ed hardy clothesed hardy shirts

fdg said...

http://pumacat0.cocolog-nifty.com/
http://wholesaleol.net
http://webthink.jugem.jp

miyuki said...

Cheap Brand Jeans ShopMen Jeans - True Religion Jeans, Women JeansGUCCI Jeans, Levi's Jeans, D&G Jeans, RED MONKEY Jeans, Cheap JeansArmani Jeans, Diesel Jeans, Ed hardy Jeans, Evisu Jeans, Jack&Jones Jeans...Bon March¨¦Chaussure PumaChaussure Sports Shop:baskets pumaChaussure Puma Femme,Chaussure Puma Homme,Chaussure Nike Femme,Chaussure Nike homme,nike shoxChaussure Sport et plus. Livraison Rapide.

miyuki said...

Charlestoncheap columbia jackets. turned a pair of double plays to do the trick. spyder jacketsThe had at least one runner on in every inning but the first and outhit the RiverDogs by a 12-6 margin Lawal should be a focal point of the Yellow cheap polo shirts along with highly touted newcomer, 6-9 Derrick Favors, rated as the No. 1 power forward on the

freefun0616 said...

酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店經紀,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店工作,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

,